Sleeping in the dark is scary. Walking through the woods alone at night is scary. Porcelain dolls sitting on a shelf staring at you all night are scary. You know what’s even scarier?
Talking about money with your partner!
Nothing gets the adrenalin pumping then sitting down to have a chat with your significant other about M-O-N-E-Y.
On one had you feel so foolish, what does money matter, you’re in love after all! On the other hand, you’re not 9 year-old watching a Disney movie (although come to think of it happiness often depending on a beautiful young woman marrying rich, but that is neither here nor there).
You need to realize that MONEY is the number one reason couples divorce. If you’re even CONSIDERING sharing a life with this person, you need to realize that a marriage, while it may merely be a piece of paper is also a LEGAL PIECE OF PAPER, which splits all your assets 50/50, which makes you responsible for all your partner’s spending and saving habits and when not spoken about openly and honestly can end up destroying your credit score, get you into debt and make you resentful enough to want to drown your partner in a lake.
WHAT IS MORE TERRIFYING THAN THAT?
Even if you’re not planning on tying the knot, but are planning to move in together, you need to talk about your expectations for money, how much each of you will contribute towards expenses, what each of you consider a reasonable expense, how important it is having fancy cheese in the house etc.,
Four ways to get over the fear of talking money with your partner:
1. Get to know your own money situation.
Don’t be a hypocrite. How can you talk to your partner about money if you don’t even know your own feelings about it? Start keeping a spending journal. Track your expenses. Really think about your own money values and what things you feel comfortable and uncomfortable splurging on.
2. Get rid of shame
Again, don’t be ashamed you want to crap on your beautiful romance by talking about money. This is real life. Money matters. You need to be on the same page, because ignoring financial differences will lead to huge problems in the future. You need to know if you’re compatible in this super-duper important way. The looks will go, the sex will go, but your mutual excitement for shopping sales will remain!! (maybe).
3. Write out questions in advance
Don’t take the easy way out. You don’t want to be at a loss of what to ask and feel awkward and end the talk early without covering the important things, like if you’re going to send little Johnny to private school and what your salaries actually are. Here’s a list of topics to cover.
4. Take a shot.
Take another shot.
Check out our online course Budget with your Boo to learn how to move forward with your plan to talk to your partner about money. The course will teach you how to set goals, help you create a game plan and give you a template for a bicker-free budget. It only takes 90 minutes to revolutionize the way that you and your boo make plans, talk about money and run the daily finances.