Anyone remember reading Little Women?* And when Meg gets married to John Brooke in the front yard of their house in a homemade wedding dress? There’s only cake and fruit and not even alcohol but it’s amazing and sweet and everyone is happy. Now, we know that no one pins about the fruit at a dry wedding. But, Meg and John straight up don’t care. Meg and John are able to start their lives with no debt and a little savings? They were able to SAY NO to the wedding machine.
And you know, even in the 19th century there WAS a wedding machine. When Meg’s rich aunt shows up she is like WTF is going on I need some champagne and Meg’s sisters keep telling her to buy a dress and her snobby friend Sally is kind of like “umm okay we’re going to dance on the grass in a circle? Where’s the DJ at?”
But then at the end everyone leaves and realizes that it was the BEST WEDDING THEY HAD EVER BEEN TO.
You know why? Because the wedding was about two people declaring their love to each other in front of family and friends.
It’s sooo tempting to read bridal magazines, to pin images of weddings, to watch Say Yes to the Dress on repeat and imagine how tiny your waist would look in a custom Penina Tourney dress, to feel ashamed because all of your friends had a sashimi bar and a reception at the Four Seasons. It’s tempting and totally normal. Weddings bring out the best and worst sides of us.
But you gotta remember that that is NOT what a wedding is about! You gotta take a page from a protestant novel of the 19th century and just say no! Every time you feel yourself wanting to hitch a ride on the wedding machine that is embedded in our capitalistic/consumer culture, think “What would Meg March do?”
AND WE QUOTE:
MEG: “I’m not a show, Aunty, (PREACH GIRL) and no one is coming to stare at me, to criticize my dress, or count the cost of my luncheon (maybe they are but screw them). I’m too happy to care what anyone says or thinks (HELLS YES), and I’m going to have my little wedding just as I like it.” BOOOOOOOOOM. Meg is a total boss.
It’s not easy to tune out the noise but it’s doable. Here’s how:
- Know how much you want to spend on your wedding and how much you can afford
- Know that just because it is your special day, spending more doesn’t make it anymore special. Really.
- Don’t be afraid to have a non traditional wedding to make it fit within your budget. Buy a regular cool dress instead of a white wedding dress. Rent a keg instead of having an open bar. Have a dessert bar instead of dinner. Have a daytime wedding. Have a midweek wedding. Elope. Borrow someone’s cottage and invite five people and make fajitas. Have a potluck (my friend is actually doing this for her wedding, and it makes it MORE special that all her nearest and dearest are pitching in)
- Stay strong!!!!!!
- Your guests will probably be saying this as they go away from your chill awesome, budget friendly wedding“That is the prettiest wedding I’ve been to for an age, Ned, and I don’t see why, for there wasn’t a bit of style about it, observed Mrs. Moffat to her husband, as they drove away
* Here’s a catch up in case you’ve forgotten/haven’t read it because you grew up in a time of iPads instead of books
Remember: before you even decide if you want to marry this person, you need to discuss your financial goals. You gotta see if you both share the dream of buying a lovely cottage like Meg and John did, or a monster McMansion like Sally Moffat’s. You need to know if one of you likes to spend a bit too much money on clothes (Meg!) or if one of you is a bit tight with the funds. Let us help you create a budget, figure out who’s responsible for paying what and the best way to divide your money, so that it’s smooth sailing on the financial waters of love once your wedding is over. Enroll in Budget with Your Boo now!